What happened to the Good Girls?
FYI: Good Girl Season is a rebirth of my blog Good Girls Finish First. (The following blog post was transferred from there, originally posted on April 15, 2019.) Enjoy!
Whether you know me personally, through social media, or you're a complete stranger...Welcome! In full transparency, I was extremely nervous about starting this. With so many empowerment movements already established, I feared that mine would get lost in a sea of more popular platforms. I battled with this thought for a long time, yet here I am choosing to suppress all that anxiety. The bottom line I realized is that Uber didn't stop Lyft, Adidas didn't stop Nike, and Cover Girl damn sure didn't stop Fenty. So if you have something on your heart you really want to start, GO FOR IT. There's room for all of us! With that being said, I'm excited to launch Good Girls Finish First (GGFF) to help spread more love throughout our communities. Here are the "light bulb" moments that led me to creating GGFF.
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I was fed up!
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After working in education for the last 5 years, I've seen a lot as you can imagine. One issue that resonated with me is the path a lot of our young girls are on. While I can admit to getting into my fair share of drama when I was a teenager, it never escalated to the type of violence and public humiliation I've witnessed from our youth today. Times have certainly changed, and I grew tired of seeing our girls constantly tear each other down. This was light bulb #1. I wanted to ignite a fire of change and positivity. So I started a Good Girl Movement at my job, where female students participated in activities to dismantle negative stereotypes of women of color. From doing random acts of kindness in their neighborhoods, to re-writing the storylines of angry Black women in movies, it was a small step to make a greater impact.
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I missed the old days.
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While talking to a group of my female students one day, I listened to them discuss in-depth details regarding the lives of various rappers' girlfriends and reality tv stars. I asked them to show me their following lists on instagram, and found myself scrolling through a plethora of IG models and socialites. I pointed out a few, and asked what they were selling or what they stood for, and all my students could tell me was how "lit" they were. I then asked if they could name 3 female entrepreneurs in their communities...*awkward silence*. This was light bulb #2. I had a moment of sadness where I simply missed the old days. What ever happened to the Good Girls? The regular "everyday women" who valued their brains over beauty, who never sacrificed their self respect to make money, and definitely didn't have to date a rich man to become successful. Moving forward, I developed a deep desire to pay homage to those women.
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I was happy, but not completely fulfilled.
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Have you ever received the thing(s) you prayed for, but eventually found yourself still unsatisfied? This is the best way I can describe starting my career in NYC. God blessed me with a job I wanted so bad, yet after a year or so I began to feel like something was missing. In a world of so much negativity, I really wanted to start something positive and uplifting, but felt like I didn't have the time. Then one Sunday in church, while listening to a powerful sermon..it hit me. I was clearly the problem. Sometimes we think life is hard, because the devil is busy throwing obstacles in our paths, when it's really us blocking our own blessings. It was time for me to get out of my own way. I had to lose myself to find my purpose. This was the 3rd and final light bulb. I stopped making excuses and started creating GGFF.
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Well...if you made it this far in the post I commend you! These days we're all so busy, we tend to skim through or even skip over long paragraphs. :-) Just know that the point of GGFF is to be another beacon of light in the darkness we face in our society. It will be a series featuring amazing, purposeful women of color who are committed to growth. GGFF will celebrate imperfections, encourage self-care, and motivate women to keep going. It will reiterate the message that women do not have to sacrifice their self respect to achieve success. I know the saying is "nice guys finish last", but just remember...Good Girls Finish First!